Fairly dividing the household chores seems to be a constant battle in many relationships. The frustration and stress can lead to years of fighting and even worse, resentment. How are the people in successful marriages handling this situation? It is totally possible to change your cleaning battles into a positive experience of long lasting love and sanity.
1. Communication, Not Nagging
When I first met my husband I was still learning the dynamics of good communication. It takes lots of patience and practice especially when you’ve just washed a tower of dirty dishes only to have your spouse dump a bunch more in the sink! Or the time you have just wiped down all the counters and five minutes later there are food wrappers on them just a few feet away from the trash can. My immediate response used to be irritation and then nagging. One of the best things for my marriage was learning that nagging was not the answer to my problems. My husband simply just needed me to ask him and he would do. Which leads me to number two.
2. Accept Your Spouse's Method
This one also took me a while to learn. Many of us fall into this trap: “I want you to WANT to help.” In the midst of frustration this could seem very logical. Let’s read that sentence again. Frustration and logic never go hand in hand. Of course my husband wants to help me in any way he can. He is the kind of person who will gladly help…when he is asked. This frustrated me for some time until I realized: why should it frustrate me if he happily helps whenever I ask him to? I learned to accept his method of helping and then I embraced it.
3. Stop the Perfectionism
I am the ultimate perfectionist! I am OCD. When a picture is crooked, I will straighten it out. When books are not organized from large to small, I will take the time to fix it. You can imagine the perfectionism shock I went into once I got married and had two kids. We are not wealthy and we do not have a house cleaner on call. I was trying to live up to some fantasy where my home would be clear of any messes, every corner “lickable,” and no large piles of mail anywhere to be found. (This is still a nightmare…someone help me with our issue of never ending piles of mail!) As I began my venture into Buddhism, I thankfully learned a few things. My house is a constant family party. We are always eating home made meals, playing with our kids, dancing, singing, and Living. I learned to be grateful for our family messes because they signify love. I learned to let go of this fantasy of having a perfectly clean house every single day and instead I shoot for twice a week.
4. Flash Your Spouse
Yes, you read correctly. If you have a fun and silly dynamic between you and your spouse then this totally works. My husband and I are extremely playful so this is a norm for us. When I am in a playful mood and he is playing a game on his computer I will have the flash ready for him when he turns around. Then I ask him for the help I need and he is more than happy to assist me.
Household chores are a constant struggle in relationships and at times can be the leading cause of separations. It doesn’t have to be that way. What works for some couples may not work for others. What methods do you use to keep your love and sanity flourishing?
Written by Stephanie Briggs (Sterp)
There is nothing more interesting than creepy stories coming to life. My affinity for disturbing stories and scary narratives continues passed Halloween and lasts throughout the year. Why do some of us love being scared? Why are we so interested in seeing and reading about fictional and realistic horrors? When things seem untouchable and impossible they can lure us in and become obsessions.
Here are 6 creepy and true occurrences that happened while filming horror movies:
1. The Exorcist
The actor who played Burke Dennings, Jack MacGowran, died a month before the film's release. This was only one strange thing that happened during the production of this film.
2. The Omen
Special effects consultant for The Omen, John Richardson, and his girlfriend got into a car accident and although he survived, she was decapitated much the same way as Jennings was in the film.
READ ABOUT IT HERE
3. The Conjuring
Vera Farmiga, the actress who plays Lorraine Warren, found five claw marks on her computer when opening it to read her script.
Both actresses Heather O'Rourke and Dominique Dunne died while working on Poltergeist films. O'Rourke died at age 12 from intestinal stenosis and Dunne was murdered by her ex-boyfriend.
5. The Crow
We all know about Brandon Lee's tragic death while filming The Crow but did you know about some of the other strange incidences that happened? A crew member was burned on 90% of his body during an accident that happened while a crane caught fire.
6. The Twilight Zone: The Movie
During the filming of a helicopter scene, the helicopter crashed and killed Vic Morrow and two children actors.
READ ABOUT IT HERE
Are you creeped out yet? I wonder what other strange incidences will occur as narratives continue to be written and movies continue to be produced. What are some of your favorite stories of disturbing events that happened on film sets?
My Mantra: Strive to be the best me and improve a little every day. Be compassionate, especially to those who may not practice it. Continue to learn and love. Take a moment multiple times each day to breathe. Forgive myself and forgive others. Read books. Live what I preach. Accept others. And above all, laugh every single day.